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Still kind of getting over a rough breakup and my bros say I should be out swaggin it up but I'm not waiting for one night stands and the childish encounters some people have coined to be relationships. I am a attractive educated male in search of a smart intelligent woman.

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A Do Or A Don't?

There's a difference between saying, "This would not be right for me," and "You shouldn't do this either. We're not always fortunate enough to be in beneifts love-filled, committed relationship.

Does that mean we should not have sex until that happens again if it does? That's the choice of some of us, but not all of us. We can feel close to someone, even intimate, in a FWB arrangement.

I think we can make these decisions maturely on Looknig own. Although I do not have a friend with benefits at the moment I wish I did, franklyI have had these relationships in the past over my many decades of single adult life, and they were marvelous.

We were real friends -- in fact, we still are. We cared about each other, we enjoyed learning about each dow, we delighted in conversation in and out of bed.

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We just weren't in love and we were not expecting commitment or exclusivity. When it was time for the Lookig part of the relationship to end -- usually because one of us fell in love with someone else and was ready for a committed relationship with that person -- we ended it cleanly and honestly, and stayed platonic friends after that.

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I get occasional emails from women asking whether a FWB or "sex buddy" relationship is possible at our age. The women who write me usually worry that they'll become too emotionally involved. I say that if you're worried about this, heed that frlends, because it's likely a warning sign that you will respond this way.

FWB isn't right for all benefist us. I'm not pushing you to try it -- rather, to know yourself, your emotional needs and habits, and determine for yourself whether a FWB arrangement would work for you or not.

Sex without commitment can work if we believe it can, and we're clear ourselves as well as with our partners about the boundaries. Are we friends first, lovers second? Fuck buddy Tullahoma minn area

Are we playing at romance, or refusing to let the relationship become romantic? Are the reasons that we want to be friends with benefits Lookinh not actual "in-love" lovers clear and valid to both of us?

Honesty is required in this kind of relationship. Don't sneak or lie -- if it can't happen honestly, it shouldn't happen. You may say, "Aha! sey

And you said you hated the "don't" word! I don't moralize much because I believe that anything two consenting adults do is no one's business but theirs, whether or not I would personally enjoy doing what they're doing.

But if another partner is involved, that partner has to give consent, too. In my thirties, forties, even fifties, I had friends with benefits at various times -- men who remain friends friejds this day, though it's been decades since we were sexually involved.

Could it work today, at age 69? I think so, given the right person, the right friendship, the right communication, the right circumstances.

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Are you involved in a friends with benefits relationship over age 50? Tell us your tips for making it work.

Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty. Joan edited the new steamy senior sex anthology, Ageless Erotica.

Visit her zesty, award-winning blog about sex and aging at http: Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent wity to you. Caucasian couple playing under sheet in bed. Friends With Benefits Over Everything in our culture makes people, and women in particular, feel that after the age of 40, they're no longer sexually attractive, and this belief gets internalized.

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But researcher Gina Ogden, in conducting her famed Isis study a national survey of sexuality and spiritualityfound that women in their 60s and 70s were having the best sex of their lives -- people need to fown that the brain is the most important sex organ in the body! Go to mobile site.

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